Love and Matters of the Heart with Chinelo Udeolisa
*Unedited mail*
"I've dated this girl for years now. I love her so much. So very much. But we often had problems. If I'm to be sincere, majority of these problems came as a result of jealousy from my part. Though at that time, she was not fateful at all. So our relationship was shaky. She later broke up with me. 6months later we met again. But this time, things have changed. She now seem to be so devoted to this guy who is not me. (Her new b.f). Yet she tells me that she loves me and also loves that guy. I'm sure the guy does not know that we are in a relationship. But she is very honest to me. She tells me everything. But when it comes to matters that will make me happy, she says 'I don't want to disappoint Emeka'. Please what do I do? I can always replace her any second because I have a lot of girls who will want me to date them. Just that memories of her is always a barrier. Nelly, please, you and your readers should advice me on what I should do."
NELLY's OPPINION: From what you said, ℓ̊ understood that you so much love this girl and she claims she loves you too but you must have to share her with another guy? Funny. But dear, Jelousy is not an option in a relationship and you have to be sure if the girl really loves you.
Please, this wan pass me. Though I have tried my best. But your help is needed.
The email is uli.gistmeansu@gmail.com Your advice is needed please.
"I've dated this girl for years now. I love her so much. So very much. But we often had problems. If I'm to be sincere, majority of these problems came as a result of jealousy from my part. Though at that time, she was not fateful at all. So our relationship was shaky. She later broke up with me. 6months later we met again. But this time, things have changed. She now seem to be so devoted to this guy who is not me. (Her new b.f). Yet she tells me that she loves me and also loves that guy. I'm sure the guy does not know that we are in a relationship. But she is very honest to me. She tells me everything. But when it comes to matters that will make me happy, she says 'I don't want to disappoint Emeka'. Please what do I do? I can always replace her any second because I have a lot of girls who will want me to date them. Just that memories of her is always a barrier. Nelly, please, you and your readers should advice me on what I should do."
NELLY's OPPINION: From what you said, ℓ̊ understood that you so much love this girl and she claims she loves you too but you must have to share her with another guy? Funny. But dear, Jelousy is not an option in a relationship and you have to be sure if the girl really loves you.
Please, this wan pass me. Though I have tried my best. But your help is needed.
The email is uli.gistmeansu@gmail.com Your advice is needed please.
Comments
"majority of these problems came as a
result of jealousy from my part". Its not her fault 4 not being faithful, she may b afraid dt u might get jealous if she should b. Go grab her back, its jst 6months. She is jst action up
Mr man, wat are u gaining from that girl? If she does not add anything to who you are then forget her. Another thing you need to know is that you did not pay her bride prize so why worry? Collect ur good thing and go your way. Asa bu asa ora. Maybe u gave her the impression that you cannot do without her. Sorry. Just forget her for now. Don't call, dnt text, dnt tink of her. Then forget ha. If she is urs one day she will come running. And if she does, just fuck her and let her get lost. Think about it.
This may be hard to hear, but guy, you have to let go,stand up, and get out. You need the space to ask yourself why you are so desperate for the affection of an unfaithful guy. I'm sure as soon as you read these words about her, you mentally try to defend her and think of all the nice things she says to you. But I beg you to trust me on this, and get out.
Girls who are unfateful often make the guys feel
guilty for doing what the girl is actually doing behind his back. This is like a smokescreen that keeps him from making the same accusations at her, because He's too busy trying to defend himself. It's an emotional manipulation.
When she finishes up with this other guy, she jumps back to you and probably says things like, "Baby, you're the only one for me. I've never felt this way about anyone else. Blah blah blah. Wah wah wah." Talk is cheap.
Why are you confused? If any other girl was playing a friend of yours like this, you'd be able to spot it a mile away. The girl is immature. She can not give you what you long for. Your relationship was unhealthy to begin with, and no
matter what she says, I do not believe that she has had any life-changing experiences since she cheated on you. I'm sure she says she's a changed girl. But if she is, then she'll still be changed in five years. Tell her to come back then.
Do not be blinded by your desire to find love, but have the wisdom and courage to listen to your heart.
What it really means is that she is not ready for a relationship, no matter how much she may want one.
When she dates to fill her emotional needs, she often ends up compromising her values for the sake of keeping a guy who is using her. So free her to be used and dumped.
You deserve something so much better. Be patient for it to come to you.
Think: who were you in love with for years ago?
What have you gained from her?
Odds are, you thought she was gorgeous, but she probably put erasers in her nose.
Now, consider where you will be four years from now.
Hopefully, it will not be in a roller coaster of a
relationship with a girl who tells you she loves you so much yet loves another guy.
Pray for wisdom. I am serious. Pray for the gift of wisdom, that you can see the truth, and not fall for the counterfeits of love. In the meantime, DO NOT get back into a relationship with this girl, no matter how sweet and charming she may be. If she really
wants to be with you, then she needs a clear break from relationships in general to get her feet on th ground and grow up. Don't let her manipulate your feelings with guilt or romance. If she does not respect you saying "no" to this relationship, then it is yet another sign that she does not love you. This may hurt to realize, but by accepting the truth and moving on, you can begin the healing process and save yourself
from even greater harm.
And as for the prize, I don't hope to win Mr. Best's prize because I know I came late today. I love your good works. More powers to your elbow. Nelly keep it up. I see you going places.
some mistakes re meant to be a lesson to us and no mata hw hard we try to correct d mistake,we cant correct it, is either we leave by d mistake or we die trying to correct it. bros is left for u to choose one.
Bt one tin is for sure lyk dey say "what is yours is alwys yours" dat is true wen u dnt force it, it ll be yours wen u let it be, cos it must surely find its way back to u no mata what.
All u need to do is just to explain to her how much u love and tell her hw u feel abt her, let her knw dat u re nt telling her to leave Emeka bt for her to knw dat she is girl u love and ll alwys love her, wen u do dat let her be and dnt tell her anytin love again, if she love u she ll come bk if she dnt den u ve to move, cos LIFE GOES ON. Dnt do it on phone oooo, good luck
some mistakes re meant to be a lesson to us and no mata hw hard we try to correct d mistake,we cant correct it, is either we leave by d mistake or we die trying to correct it. bros is left for u to choose one.
Bt one tin is for sure lyk dey say "what is yours is alwys yours" dat is true wen u dnt force it, it ll be yours wen u let it be, cos it must surely find its way back to u no mata what.
All u need to do is just to explain to her how much u love and tell her hw u feel abt her, let her knw dat u re nt telling her to leave Emeka bt for her to knw dat she is girl u love and ll alwys love her, wen u do dat let her be and dnt tell her anytin love again, if she love u she ll come bk if she dnt den u ve to move, cos LIFE GOES ON. Dnt do it on phone oooo, good luck
***please find another girl. But, if the girl de gal don give u toto b4 then forget ha***